A message from the fugitive

It’s Rachel here, doing my first blog. Why am I choosing now to do it, when I have SICK LOADS OF GERMAN HOMEWORK?!?! Because my flatmates are bullies and confuse my sense of what is right and what is wrong :P

Anyway, back to my first ever blog on wearebrave. How did Louise describe me in the opening post? Ah yes, I’m the so genannte ‘Blonde bombshell’ Who is ’ usually AWOL’ and ‘ Enjoys Subway, German, and loves the Jewish people.’

Classic.

Well I’m currently actually in the flat, I returned at 10am this morning and might even spend the night here tonight. SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS. I am usually AWOL, slash I have been AWOL for the past three weeks, no one remembers how I used to spend all my time here :P I am not a fugitive...or am I?!?! Bizarre times. When I’m not in the flat, I miss it, and I believe it misses me too. I miss the foul stench in the kitchen, my messy room, my lack of food and plates and cutlery...and that gross shower. Ha. What I actually miss is my wonderful flatmates, and the Brave List. Which needs publishing. EPIC.

Today I want to have a slight spaz about Subway.Maybe after this you people won’t be so annoying! Here goes...

As a member of the facebook group ‘I hate stupid assholes who come to Subway and don’t know how to f***ing order’ I want to use this opportunity to tell you all the things that customers do that annoy me the most.

There are many.

It is HEARTY Italian, it is not heartly. Do not get mad at me if you ask for Italian bread but you meant Italian herb and cheese. Also, don’t be mad when I put chillis on because you asked for ‘no olives’. Please don’t say ‘I want the works....but not the weird stuff’. Also, I can salad a sandwich if you tell me all the salad in one go. Don’t slow me down by telling me one piece of salad at a time. Please don’t ask me for more than 2 kinds of sauce, you sicko. And stop putting so much mayo on your subs. IT’S NOT CHIPOLATA SAUCE, if you can’t say chipotle, just say southwest, you weirdo. Don’t point at the bread display, actually tell me what you want... I DO NOT HAVE X RAY VISION. Do not say ‘I don’t know what I want’...get out the queue then, idiot. Please don’t get mad at the price when you get to the till. Actually check it before you order. On that note, quit asking me the price of a footlong. Do your own adding up. Please don’t leave it until I’m on salad before you decide you wanted more than one sandwich. And if you bring your kids, don’t make them whisper at me what salad they want. For once, just tell me, I can’t be bothered playing along to your parenting skills. I hate your 6 inch/footlong jokes. I have heard them all plenty of times. Why are you toasting tuna subs?! What is wrong with you. Do not ask me for bread that is not in the bread display. That is why it’s not there. I didn’t just take it out for the kicks. AND JUST BECAUSE YOU COME IN EVERYDAY, I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALL PALLY WITH YOU. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. DON'T TALK TO ME IN THE STREET.

I am a nice person, honest :]