Womanizers of the UK touching down all over the joint. Why hasn't anyone blogged? WELL! Let me tell you! Its because we have all been united after 4 weeks of easter holidaying in our various homevilles and have been embracing each other too much to find the time to blog. I have only found the time as I am all alone in the flat! SOBBBBB!
Louise is fighting poverty, single handedly.
Ellie is on a field trip at a brewery. God save us.
Eskell is dining with future housemates yielding cake.
Rachel is at a gig with Gav and Caffs.
Dennis is frolicking with Artic Fox (a man).
Well where to start?!?! I will begin chronologically and see where the wind takes me.
On Wednesday 15th April I returned to the Flat of Joy. I had missed it so baddddd. All the photos on the wall and the beautiful note Louise had left me explaining her absence:
"Loverations! Welcome home!! I'm so sorry but I lost my phone (as in since last night) and cannot ring you! I faffing so please be here when I am here later!"
AAAAA face embrace was upon meeee. Luckily I had fionnuala with me so off we went to sainsburys to buy unneccessary items for us to eat. Fantastic.
Then on the Thursday Ellen and Ian came up for a frolick in which we discovered the treasure of Akbar. We defied the Balti King by entering this high market and cosmopolitan Indian restaurant aagaga. Then family Welsh departed and it was just Mic and Lou.
Friday 16th April Hannah Dennis and Milo Jones return to the hood. SHEEEER EXCELLENCE. In which. we celebrated this fabaaalous unin by getting drunk and hitting cockpit. A disposable camera was taken, returning with no film (yet to be developed).
Cockpit was certainly full of mouth activity for miss dennis who embraced celebs, weirdos and randomers in various fashions whilst holding my hand. Yessssss. Then a man and his ladder hit the floor of room one to fix a light, in which the chanting LADDERMAN LADDERMAN began. Then I got thrown off the stage by the bouncer and generally got crowd raped by the cocks of the pit.
On the way home, a gentleman hits on the den. She wants his coat. She is cold. He wont give. She begs. We all exchange numbers. She gets coat. We go home. Schleeeep.
Saturday morning, a very hardcore Hangover Club indeed. I hadnt drank all holiday and had forgotten that metallic feeling in the mouth, the paralysed legs and streaming eyes. We exchanged the gossip finding ourselves HILARIOUS (obviously because we are) and then hit the big L, mainly for more food.
Instead, coat guy rings all pissing day asking for his coat and then adds us on facebook. We continually lose Louise as she buys new phone and too much money is spent.
Sunday Eskellaaa and Rachel return home. YESSSS. Louise and me receive huge hugs and kisses from grandmother eskell. What a woman. Anddd the party is back on track. Except Ellie the devil doesnt arrive til the Montag.
Montag. School starts. 9am. Microbiology. Everyone still hungover from Friday. ELLIE IS HOME!!!!!!!!!! She leaps like a tiger after prey into my arms. She smelt good ;).
This night we hit Faversham, and Dennis buys what seems to be 3 crates of strongbow and sambuca and all sorts. Ellie and Michaela drink wine and cider. In large amounts. And down cans of strongbow in one breath. Except Ellie being the gaseous woman she is. BURP. word.
Faversham is empty and shit in terms of an amateur single lady. Except we frolicked and danced like mad men late into the night. Dennis is escorted home by Welsh. Welsh walks back to Fav followed by dude on BMX. Dancing continues. Photos are taken. James bonds with Michaela's faves. Excellent.
Tuesdayyyy woah. What a day this was. Labs in the morning. Extremely hungover. The shakes. Still very drunk. Could vom at any minute. Start experiment. Too small to reach acid. Falls on the floor smashes everywhere. Big commotion. Three demonstrators take to clean up. I run away home to change my shoes. Didnt think to help. Just left. Obviously still drunk. As consequence of drunkeness product is orange, not clear like everyone elses. Frick.
Wednesday gets exciting. Hannah Dennis meets Artic Fox (aka Paul Monteverde) in town in mr secretsons buttt now everyone knows. Ellie and Mic are left to their own devices. aaah. Hereby, Ellie and Mic hit the park and make packed lunch for Louise consisting of nuts, jelly and ribena. Puuurrrrrfect. These three sumptuous women now hit the music library. Embarrass themselves by asking for Westlife and dancing and then falling over. Snorting and not being aware of the appropriate decorom of the joint. ahha. Louise takes out Electro Samba, no electro is in sight.
Then we have an epic bbq in hyde park. Very nice. In which we played charades AMAZINGGG the best of louise enacting winnie the pooh and james' reluctance to do womanizer.
Thursdayyyyyyy, many a single lady hit Akbars. With hot hot hot food and too much huge naan bread everyone has a sumptuous time. The hardcore single ladies hit the night life with spicy breath and objectives of securing 29 year old men in "Henry's" classssyyyyyy.
Fridayyyyyyyy Hannah and Michaela hit York to go see Casiotone. A very sexy night. We rolled up late afternoon and frolicked in the sun. Then we went to an old fashioned sweet shop, flirted with the guy behind the counter just to get free bon bons. And that we did. Thennn we furthered the flaff to pizza hit. WOAH - funniest times of my life everrrr. Then we hit Fibbers (or as I like to call it Fiddlers) to watch Casiotone. A musically talented hairy man.
Then after admiring bum rape at the station, taking photos and eating rice krispie squares Saturday was upon us.
Saturdayyyy was hilarious. It was the night of Scotchfest and the Medics Otley Run. AMAZING. Paul and James came for tea on the sumptuous day ( I forget to say Louise's friend Lucia was here, she is seductive.) as Mic prepared women for fairytale fun. Thennn Mic and Hannah went to Scotchfest, Mic was drunk and shouted over a performance. Bad times. Then went on to join the Otley Run. MEssssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Screaming (and tears from Milo) went down and much 99p blossom hill yesssss. So many drunken exchanges and laughs occured (basically I cant remember) and then on the move from Hyde Park Pub to The Library a music video of Womanizer, filmed by Ellie and performed by Louise and Mic. Excellent. Thennnn Stand and Deliver was played in the Library and a microphone was thrust in everyones face (by me) asking them "How they felt about that".
"Ellie how do you feel about living next door to me?"
"I like it, you can hear me having sex"
"YOU CANT SAY THAT ON LIVE TV!"
jesus.
Aussi, I forgot to mention Ellie was extremelyyyy horny, text Ben to proclaim this and BAM no reply so she tries to rape the rest of us. (Mine and Louise's dreams finally come true).
The next morning Mic and Louise are up at 6am and embrace Ellie whom proclaims "Look, I'm not naked so get out". How did she know? ahahha. In which we laughed at the photos, drank tea and prevented the munchies from getting any worse.
Sunday, this is EPIC. The shower head falls off onto Eskell in the shower. She screams and screams and screams. Unfortunately Mic and Ellie just laugh at her then get Milo to do a bit of plumbing. Later that evening I embrace the shower. It falls off and dooshes me in the head, naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty. AGAAAAGAGAGAGAG. The flat is aussi cleaned for a "flat inspection" as our flat was reported to be the filth.
We know who it was. The pissing new bin man who just swears at us and kicks the chairs. Loser. Just because you wear a reflector jacket you are not superior. Jesus.
Then the next day Ellie informs the accom office of the missing shower head.
"There water coming out of the wall"
"Where abouts? The head or the tap?"
"The wall...."
"Is it an emergency?"
"Oh no no we still have water"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.
And which it brings me to today (in which more frolicking and spazzing occured in between but i have homework to do) where I am all alone in the flat. Waiting for Ellie to come home. Hopefully drunk and full of amazing things to sayyyy.
Post: Michaela.
